I don’t have lots to say these days, guys. Things here are buzzing along. We are working away on A Little Night Music which is going well. It’s dense. And a little ass-kicking, but it’s coming. I adore the group. Morris is great fun and has an amazing mind. And the cast is so much fun. It’s such a joy to really get to work with George Masswohl. He is such a dear friend and generous spirit and talented as hell. We were working on our duet last night and he’s just so generous and fun and easy. It’s a pleasure. And it was so great to watch he and Goldie Semple work on the “Send In The Clowns” scene yesterday afternoon. It’s going to be heartbreaking. Good stuff, y’all, good stuff. I’m so interested to see what people think of the show. It’s a real re-thinking of the piece. Morris is really striving to make the show more intimate and less stylized. Much more about the people on a smaller, more human level.
On other fronts . . . . well there aren’t really other fronts right now. hahaa. I have my understudy run for Wonderful Town tomorrow night. It will be good to get that done and then really concentrate on Night Music.
I’m noticing that a lot of people (in the business of show in particular) seem to be searching for something more these days. What I mean is, I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who are feeling like there is something more to strive for, to want to be. As people and as artists. I think that says a lot about where we are as a society and as artists and as people. There’s a sense of discontentment and disenchantment. The good thing about that is that’s when magic starts to happen. New ways of thinking develop. New ways of communication. People are questioning the status quo. Don’t know where that will lead but we’ll see. It’s not something new. Art starts fresh and then get popular and then gets taken for granted, then falls apart, only to be born again as something fresh. That’s the blessing of cycles – for every downturn, there’s an upswing.
There is no answer in the post. Just observation for right now. I know I’m searching. I know I may not be in Canada for much longer. I just don’t know how much more there is for me to do. I’ve been so lucky/blessed in my career. I’ve done the summerstock, I’ve done corporate gigs, I’ve done the regionals, I’ve done the mega-musicals, I’ve done Stratford and now Shaw. I’m not interested in just going in circles. It’s a big world. I don’t want to be afraid to experience it. I want to do Broadway and cabaret in New York. I want to do cabaret in Berlin. I want to concert work all over the world. So much to see and do and only one small life (or several if you believe in reincarnation) to see and do it in.
My best friend, Krista, once said something so innocently sage to me. She once said, “I’m tired of waiting”. And I said, “Explain”. And she said,”It seems like we spend 60 percent of our lives waiting. I don’t just mean literally waiting for the dentist, the doctor, in bank lines, for rides at the amusement park. But I mean waiting till we’re thin enough to go on the vacation, till our kid is old enough, till we meet the right person, till we make enough money. We wait our lives away and then look back at all the things we didn’t do. I don’t want to wait anymore.”
I’ve remembered that because that was part of what started to change how I think about my life. Ever since then I can’t get that out of my head. I find I’m constantly asking myself, “Am I waiting?” And “For What?” And then I strive to kick my own butt. That’s why I don’t want to take jobs I don’t want anymore. All I’m aware of is that while I’m contracted to do this job I hate, I’m keeping myself from being open for the job I will love. Now, that doesn’t mean it’s always easy to say no. In fact, I went into a lot of debt last year, remaining “free” for what is “right”. But the real truth is money comes and goes (if you just trust in your own ability and are on the right track) but your personal truth (in terms of who you are and who you want to be) will shine brighter than anything else if you stick with it and trust.
Wow, apparently I did have things to say. Okay that’s all folks.
Live it and love it, my dears.