TOO LONG

Sorry it’s been so many days. Just been rehearsing and doing the show. And gaining weight . . . hahahaha Dang!! Something happened and my Jenny Craig shipment was delayed so I’ve had to fend for myself for the last 4 days. Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!!! Yikes, clearly I’m not ready to go it alone yet. It will be fine but it’s like my will goes on vacation. Ahh.

Things are going really well with A Little Night Music. Finding my way through. Although one of the songs was killing me. It really is a baritone role. It’s about finding the breath down that low. The funny part is, as I said before, I sound like a baritone but I’m so not. Well, not living down there. Thankfully Paul Sportelli, who is one of the most generous, gifted and insightful musical directors/musicians I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with, helped me immensely in a session yesterday. (For the record, that last statement was not kissing ass. I’m pretty sure Paul doesn’t read my blogs. He just really is a marvel. He and Stephen Woodjetts are two men I respect beyond words) But we had our second run-through of the show yesterday and it was really great. It’s made huge jumps and you could really see a show happening. Goldie Semple is so fantastic.

I’m so tempted to start posting videos of myself on facebook. I’ve been watching Sharron Matthews videos which are so hilarious but I can’t imagine being that funny. But I guess that’s it, you don’t have to be that funny, just as funny as yourself. . . . which will just be different funny . . . but probably still not as funny as Sharron . . . she’s pretty funny . . . I’m a fan. Technology is so amazing these days.

Sharron and I have been talking about the upcoming Dora awards (the Toronto version of the Broadway’s Tony Awards for those of you who don’t know) and what we are going to sing and wear. Cause c’mon, that’s what it’s about. And we’ve now decided what we are singing. I need to take a little foray into Toronto and look for something snazzy to wear. Not sure. I wore an all-white suit with a sort of teal/aquamarine shirt last year. Darn, I should have worn that this year. But who knew I’d be entertaining the people of Canada at the awards this year. (“entertaining the people of Canada” is Sharron Matthews’, not mine but I love it)

So here I am on my day off and I’ll admit, I’m torn. Part of me wants to do nothing but eat and go for a walk and go to the discount store and watch movies. Oh, I have to get my dry-cleaning. Wow, how domestic this blog’s become. Eek!!! But I’m just sharing my NOTL thoughts. Anyway, the other part of me feels like I should go the gym and make some healthy meals and blah, blah, blah. Oh Lord, y’all (I don’t know why I say things like “y’all” and “dang” in my blogs when I don’t even remotely speak like that in person. Maybe it’s my inner hillbil . . . I mean, . . . . rural southerner coming out.) I just feel like taking a day of not doing anything. You know, I had this great session with my therapist months ago. Yes, I said therapist. You guys, he’s awesome. He’s an energy therapist. Allow me to explain. For about 45-50 minutes you talk and work through issues, then for about 25-30 minutes you get on his table and he does energy work (chakras, reiki-ish stuff) So balancing. Some of the coolest stuff I’ve ever done. But I digress. . . . so we had this great session where I realized with his help that I rarely have a day, let alone a moment where I don’t feel I “should” be doing something else. All these shoulds – ie. “I SHOULD be going to the gym.” “I SHOULD be working on another cabaret” “I SHOULD be working on a script” “I SHOULD be answering those e-mails”. And essentially and without knowing it, making myself mentally and emotionally exhausted with the weight of all of these things I SHOULD be doing that I’m not. So I rarely let myself just be quiet and unoppressed, mentally, in any given moment. Sound familiar to anyone. So that is going to be the goal for today. To not SHOULD myself into anything. Do what I feel like. That was what my therapist and I decided was the goal. To sit quietly in those moments and listen to what I WANT to do . . . and strive to do it. Hmmm.

Now speaking of my therapist, if anyone of you is looking for someone who is awesome. His name is David Scammell. He used to be an actor and then felt he was being drawn to other kinds of connection and healing and . . . well, you can read about him on his web-site.

http://www.davidscammell.com/

If any of you are looking for an amazing way of clearing your shit up and out for the 21st century, I cannot recommend him enough. He has the most extraordinary spirit and I feel like I’ve peeled away a layer of life toxin whenever I see him. I know it sounds all new age-y but it is actually so practical and not ooga-booga. Awesome!!! (Yes, I’m still saying awesome.)

Oh something funny I wanted to share. It probably won’t be that funny to read but I’ll give it a shot. I can tell I’ve been a little stressed lately. I’ve realized that when I get really stressed or busy, I start to forget things. So for the last 4 shows I’ve forgotten/changed lines in Wonderful Town. Now I haven’t really forgotten them. I always know what I mean but I will forget a word or two and end up having to change it. One line I changed is this: I’m supposed to give a simple greeting “Hiya, gorgeous” and what I said was “Hello, gorgeous'” Now that by itself doesn’t seem too funny but add the fact that I’ve got a New York accent, I sounded like a black male Barbra Streisand. And then on Saturday, I was supposed to begin a story by saying “It reminds me of that time in Panama” and I said “It reminds me of that time in . .” and I couldn’t remember the name. I knew it was somewhere hot and dark-skinned but what popped into my head . . well these were my thoughts in that split second “Bolivia, B B B B Bahamas, no wrong kind of dark-skin, B B B it is starts with a B doesn’t it, maybe it’s not a B no I don’t think it’s B, I’ve got to say something, something hot and far away from here but I can’t think of a country say something now, the whole theatre is waiting.” So what I ended up saying was ” . . in . . . in South America” I figured that would cover all possibilities. There were only 5 people on-stage including me – needless to say, there were some very funny faces happening for the rest of that scene. Our stage manager came back-stage at intermission, laughing. She said she was on the edge of her seat but so impressed because I didn’t even break into a flopsweat. I told her, I wasn’t freaked out. I knew what I was trying to say so I wasn’t worried. I’m hoping that is the last of it. But it is . . .LIVE THEATRE. Okay that wasn’t that interesting in print. But I swore I’d share all. Don’t be hatin’.

I’ve been getting some really cool feedback from you guys and I can’t tell you how lovely I find that. It’s weird, you write this stuff out of a need to stretch out and share something with the world and after awhile you don’t even know if anyone’s reading them. But I’ve been getting calls and e-mails from you guys saying that you’re reading and enjoying and even being inspired by some of it. That makes me feel so full, y’all (heehee y’all – yeehaw). It’s not that I’m taking credit for anything. I feel full because all any of us are doing when it comes to inspiration or entertainment is ‘paying it forward’. We learn from people, we are inspired by people, and we, in turn, pass it along. It just shows how connected we are to each other – not just now but through time and through generations. Once more, I say – AWESOME!!!!!!!!

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Published in: on May 12, 2008 at 4:04 pm  Leave a Comment  

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