HUMAN AGAIN

My children, this is the first day since 2 sundays ago that I’ve felt like myself. It was the first day since the infection that I haven’t had the faintest feeling that I’m on a ship. (That slight rocking feeling internally) I felt like myself and we had two shows today – Wonderful Town then A Little Night Music. And I was fine. I did both shows. Didn’t come offstage and have to use a wall. It was awesome. Now, having said that is was our second preview of Night Music and I felt my Carl-Magnus was tad fussy tonight. To many little things because I wasn’t trusting that I was enough. Not shocking but I need to trust that I’m big enough to hold a moment. I know, for those of you who know me it’s hard to imagine me not thinking I’m big enough. But it’s hard to trust yourself sometimes. And the audience was not as vocal as the first preview. They also seemed rather . . . um . . . mature. Reeeeeaaaaaaalllllllyyyyyyyy mature! Which makes a difference in how things get ‘heard’. But still a lovely group. And it was fun to do it and find more things in front of people.

It’s a heavy week. We have 9 shows this week plus an onstage rehearsal for Night Music tomorrow night. So I’m heading to bed. I also need to get eating healthy and regularly while I’m trying to get myself back on track. Even though I’m feeling better, I’m not going to push it because it’s such a long week. I’m not going to do any extra-curricular things this week – ie. gym, classes, chiro. I’ll just let me head readjust and next week I’ll gradually ease myself back in. I really want to start running/jogging. I think my body would do well in it. I’m so bottom-heavy . . . well, that’s not really right. My weight tends to centre in my lower body (yes, that sounds more humane) and I hear that can be good for runners. It keeps the centre of gravity near the ground.

I also feel like I need to get these shows up so I can focus on myself and my own projects. I have ideas for two cabarets that I might do while I’m here. Well I may do one of them. Plus I want to work on the bod and mind. And I want to enjoy the summer in the beautiful town with the great bike trails and wine tours. Woohoo.

More later.

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Published in: on June 5, 2008 at 4:16 am  Leave a Comment  

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