Hmmmm . . . . I’m not sure what I want to say today but I felt the need to write something. It’s the day off today. We had our final dress rehearsal for Dreamgirls last night. It actually went well. Quite well actually. I found myself able to breathe through most of it. I had moments where I was a bit hesitant but they were managable. I did have two moments where I completely dried* which can be horrifying. But as long as you keep breathing, it will come to you. And eventually after a few flop-sweat-inducing seconds, they came. But compared to how I’ve been feeling up until now, that was a pretty good night for me. And it will get better, I know it will.
But what has been interesting and prompted me to write something is I talked to my parents today and found out my aunt died yesterday. She had cancer and had been fighting it for a little while and they thought she was better but then she took a turn. She was an amazing woman; full of fire and faith and humour and she had no regrets. She was in her 80’s but certainly not old. I’m sad that she’s gone but at the same time, we all realize that she’s better off as I understand she was in a fair bit of pain in the end. Now I realize that this is a little dark to put in a blog but I don’t mean it to be. My point and impetus for this entry today is my need to acknowledge perspective. My Aunt Lil and her zest for life and, now, her death are what life is. Dreamgirls – though it is what is taking up my time and energy these days – is just a show. What truly counts is/are the people around you. The relationships you create, foster, nurture, choose. How we connect to each other in the world and the energy we send out into it. I know I will get this show under my belt. It’s happening. But what I’ve been inspired to realize by Aunt Lil’s passing is that the people I get to share my art, my craft with everynight, the people I share my life with every day, the people I share my heart with every moment . . THAT is where the heartbeat of life truly lies.
So I’m going to free myself of the anxiety and fill myself with the joy and laughter that’s around me and at my fingertips everyday. Reach out and touch it, my friends.
Live your lives, kids, and screw the stuff that doesn’t matter.
*DRIED – in theatre, it’s what we call it when you suddenly can’t remember the next line